I’m back, bitches!

It doesn’t get much better than this: Fur trimmed pyjamas and an amazing fur hat!

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And let’s take a closer look.

 

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Now THAT is style.

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Best Dressed Bitch Of The Day

 

Constance in American Horror Story is one of the greatest bitches to come along on television in awhile. Always dressed is a distinctly retro way, Jessica Lance hasn’t looked so fabulous in years.

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Dallas is back!

With a new series of Dallas currently filming, I have only one wish. That Sue Ellen Ewing get drunk at least once! Drunken Sue Ellen made Dallas just that much better!

I mean, come on! Who else could take a swig out of their flask AND check their make up? Not even Alexis on Dynasty could do that!

Posted in Dallas, Sue Ellen, Sue Ellen Ewing | 2 Comments

When Bitches Meet: Scream 3 Edition.

Before seeing Scream 4 last weekend I rewatched the previous three. And while the third installment seems to be largely recognised as the worst, I love it. And it can pretty much be summed up in one phrase: Double the Gale!

So here’s some of my favourite Gale on Gale (or Jennifer) scenes.

Jennifer: Gale Weathers!

Gale: (under breath) Shit.

Jennifer: Oh my god! Listen…I..I..I know we’ve never met and I don’t mind you never returning my calls, but I have to tell you after two films I feel like I am in your mind!

Gale: Hmm, well that would explain my constant headaches.

Jennifer: After all, Gale Weathers, you’re such a complex character!

Gale: Ohh, and to be played by an actress with such…depth and range!

Both: Dewey!

Jennifer: Gale, I think you’ll really appreciate my character work in this one. Someone’s helped me understand the real you.

Gale: Someone?

Jennifer: Your ruthless ambition, your private self loathing. And that lost and lonely little girl inside.

Gale: Lost and lonely WHAT?

Oh Gale, how I love thee:

(After being punched by Gale)

Jennifer: My. Lawyer. Liked. That.

Gale: Not as much as I did.

Gale: What the hell are you doing?

Jennifer: Being Gale Weathers! What the hell are you doing?

Gale: I AM Gale Weathers!

Jennifer: Here’s how I see it! I’ve got no house, no bodyguard, no movie and I’m being stalked. Because someone wants to kill me? No, because someone wants to kill you. So now, starting now, I go where you go. That way, if someone wants to kill me I’ll be with you and since they really wanna kill you they won’t kill me. They’ll…kill you. Make sense?

Gale: NONE!

Jennifer: You know, in the movies, I play you as being much smarter.

Gale: And as a SANE person! For you that must be quite a stretch!

Jennifer: That’s funny.

Gale: HA!

Jennifer: Fifty dollars?! Who are you? A reporter for Woodsboro High?

Jennifer: It’s worth two grand! Are you gonna help Gale Weathers or not? (I love that they’ve now become one!)

Possibly my favourite exchange in the film:

Jennifer: Rina Reynolds…stage name.

Secretary: You should talk…Judy Jurgenstern.

The Gales uncover a clue. Love the look they share:

Upon confronting someone:

Jennifer: Oh come on. You have made millions off the story of her murder! You’re obsessed with her! And you’re obsessed with her daughter!

Gale: Right, easy Geraldo.

The rest of their shared scenes get rather spoilery. So let’s end it there. Secretly, I hope Jennifer Jolie makes a miraculous recovery in time for Scream 5!

Posted in Best Dressed Bitch, Catfight!, Courtney Cox, Gale Weathers, Horror, Parker Posey, Scream 3 | 1 Comment

The Good, The Bad and The Evil.

Just in time for Halloween it’s time to remember my favourite ladies of horror.
The Good:

My very favourite lady of horror. Carrie White was the outcast who made good, if only for a few fleeting moments.

Anna in the Dawn Of The Dead remake became my favourite heroine of the 2000s. Definitely a good girl of the horror world.

A sometimes forgotten heroine of horror, Sarah in Day Of The Dead was tough and got the job done.  If the film had been more popular she may have given Ellen Ripley a run for her money.

Wendy Torrance is often criticised for being weak and emotionally unstable. Wouldn’t you be if you were chased around by Jack Nicholson and various creepy ghosts. The woman saved her child and stood up to Jack when it mattered. She’s one of the good ones.

Gale Weathers: Tough, determined and a bitch. Add to it the basic human decency lurking in there and she’s one of my favourite good gals of horror.

Ellen Ripley in Alien plays by the rules and it pays off for her. (Note I’m not counting Aliens. That’s an action movie, Alien is horror.)

THE BAD:

I’ve always had a soft spot for Annie Wilkes, but let’s not forget…bitch is crazy.

Technically not a girl, this slinky seductive alien is a hot bad girl…until she bites off Martin Short’s thumb that is.

Madeline and Helen are my favourite zombies EVER. They’re so bitchy and witty and elegant. I love these bad girls to bits.

Baby Jane Hudson! What else needs to be said? Other than perhaps rat, anyone?

THE EVIL:

Chris Hargensen. Pure Evil. So much worse than Freddy or Jason because she’s the type of girl that is seen holding court over the lesser people in high schools everywhere.

Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest is an evil person. Luckily Mommie Dearest was a work of fiction!

She wanted her stepdaughter’s heart in a box! That’s cold. She’s oh so evil, but also stylish…which earns her points with me.

Posted in Bette Davis, Carrie, Faye Dunaway, Hag Horror, Horror, Joan Crawford, Mommie Dearest, Movies | 2 Comments

Bitch Of The Day: Clueless’s Amber

A stereotypical bitch who manages to get the best lines and (for me) steals the show from the leads. The lovely Elisa Donovan as Amber. Unlike Cher’s description of Amber as a Monet (“from far away it’s okay, but up close it’s a big old mess”), she is one fantastic bitch. Here are some favourite frames and quotes:

1. In response to Cher’s questionable comparing of Haitian refugees to her father’s birthday party

What. EVER!

2. Phys Ed class.

Amber: Miss Stoger, my plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.

Dionne: Well there goes your social life.

3. Tai has just showed up to Phys Ed.

Ms Stoger: You can hit a few balls in those clothes

Amber: She could be a farmer in those clothes!

4. Critiquing Cher’s oral presentation.

Amber: Hello! Was I the only one listening? I mean, I thought it reeked!

Cher: I believe that was your designer imposter perfume.

Ahh Amber, where would society be today without your ‘Whatever!’?

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Frames I Love: Psycho

Rewatching this for the millionth time, I turned my attention to Vera Miles. The mature responsible sister to Janet Leigh’s flighty Marion, Lila intrigues me. And here are a couple of frames I enjoyed.

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